So a few days ago I got twitchy and I nuked my Quahog. I thought if Giant Chicken got a go at destroying Quahog then why shouldn’t I?
I admit, I hummed, I hawed, and stepped back from the brink on a few occasions. At one point I even called in chocolate reinforcements, before finally biting the bullet and doing the evil deed. And you know what, it wasn’t as painful as I’d expected, but then again neither was it the solution to dealing with the ever growing amount of stuff that needs to find a more organised home in my Quahog.
All nuking did was move the problem, now when I tap my inventory icon I’m taken into a menu that resembles a mobile gaming version of extreme hoarding.
I look at all the stuff and try to remember why I ever thought I’d need 100 odd Valentine toparies, or toadstools, or edelweiss, or pod plants. Was I that desperate to use up my game & event currency that I actually sat and bought all of that? Who am I kidding, of course I did and nothing’s changed as I’ve just bought more tropical fish than the Great Barrier Reef houses to use up my cursed treasure. A fool and their currency are easily parted indeed.
So how do I solve a problem like Maria, sorry it’s all that darn Edelweiss. Let me try again, how do I solve a problem like this, well firstly like with any issue you need to admit you have a problem. Ok I can do that, I’ve just sat and pulled out building after building, dinosaur after dinosaur, and any other amount of stuff and literally just chucked it anywhere and everywhere in my Quahog. I stared at it all then I took the following screenshots in order I could admit to not only myself but my fellow addicts that my obsession with collecting the many items TinyCo throw at us in this game is out of control.
Ok, so far so good, but after I faced that moment of truth my junkyard of a town needed to be nuked again. And you know what I dithered just as much as I did the first time, asking myself did I really want to take such drastic action again, was nuking my game again tempting fate and some of my items would disappear never to be seen again. There you see my hoarding problem raising its ugly head again, all that stuff, and I’m worried I might lose one thing, am I nuts, fate would be doing me a favour if it absconded with half of it.
If I’m totally honest when I saw Consuela’s vacuum was coming to our games, I envisioned a completely different use for it. I let myself imagine Consuela hovering up all my junk whilst I sat back and enjoyed the show. Sadly de-cluttering by Consuela didn’t happen, but I’ll get over it. Eventually!
Now after another nuking my town again it’s a bit of a ghost town, not exactly on a Chernobyl scale, but it’s still a little eerie to see it so empty and lifeless. So I’m going to have to start the rebuilding process whilst trying to find a way to incorporate some crazy stuff into what is supposed to be a residential town. Just how do I fit all the different event decorations into any sort of rational design. I mean there’s a giant gum ball machine, dinosaurs, Greek gods. Sometimes I think the only way to go is to turn my whole town into QuahogLand, a poor man’s Disneyland full of the weird and wonderful, ok just weird, things. A commercialised wasteland where franchises come to attract attention to themselves by sticking out like sore thumbs. Sounds like a fine idea but how come I think it will end up looking like Banksy’s Dismaland gone wrong.
So im sitting here trying to come up with a cunning plan to make my Quahog something I’m proud of. And I’m thinking it might be fun to share my progress with you over the coming weeks, ok, ok, probably months. It will make your own towns look fantastic in comparison if nothing else as I’m no creative whizz. But sometimes, just sometimes it’s fun to watch the apprentice, (that’s me) at work rather than the Master, or even Mistress in the case, (yes that’s you Bunny) just to see what a mess they make of things.
However I’m hoping if I’m going be brave enough to show you the mess I make, then you will show me yours, that’s your towns not your mess obviously, I’m sure some of you have some awesome ideas and designs, and it’s a shame they don’t get shown off. So that’s exactly what I’m proposing we start to do again, show off our towns, so keep your eyes peeled for an upcoming post in which I will tell you where I’m going to start on my efforts to rebuild my Quahog and ask you to Showoff what you’ve done with those areas of your town. But until then if any of you would like to inspire me or show off what you’ve done with any part of your towns please send screenshots of your town to firstname.lastname@example.org along with your profile name here, and I will ooh, and ahh over them before showing them off on the site.
* For anyone who’s now thinking on nuking their town here’s a guide to going nuclear.
** For anyone looking for advice on taking screenshots of their town, here’s a basic guide for that too.